the remainder of patagonia, y chile.

so, as noted earlier, my absurd, but obligatory, cheese consumption (it was a ton of cheese.. even for me) and overzealous laughter firmly impressed itself in the minds of my two new 30-something travel partners, jas and chintu. they normally go on vacations, they are not "travellers", but they wanted to do something different than miami and new york city, so they decided hiking in patagonia would be fun. but they were doing it in style. since i have never really met anyone who is travelling so luxuriously, i didn´t even think twice to lead them to the nearest shithole of a hostel. not one second thought. it wasn´t until later that i realized they´re normally at the overpriced hotels i walk straight by without one ounce of consideration. it was really interesting being with them for awhile. a different take on it all. i´m not entirely sure if we would have ever gravitated towards each other if it weren´t for the proximity on the bus, but we broke the boundaries and got along famously, which is just lovely.

the workers of the hostel were fantastic, super buena onda. the doctors left early the next morning while i took it slow because i hadn´t decided if i was going to treat myself to the renting of a stove this time or not. omar, the hostel owner, ended up giving me a stove, a tent cover (since mine wasn´t actually waterproof really ha), fuel, and a pot for free. how lovely! they also had the best free hostel breakfast i have ever had. so i was pretty much completely in love with this place.

took the two p.m. bus to torres del paine, "the" patagonia park. EXTREMELY expensive! thirty dollars to enter, another twenty two for the ferry, then if you can´t get to the free campsites in time, you´re paying seven a night for a piece of grass. NOT COOL. i was determined to make it to the free campsite that night, despite my late start. i ended up seeing ma boys on the way in, and i alllmost made it to the free campsite, but it was getting dark and the map and the signs were conflicting on their idea of how long it would take to arrive, so i asked the camp worker and he told me i wouldn´t make it. little did i know it only took me 50 minutes (the next morn), not the two hours they told me it would take, which did not make me happy. but whatcha gonna do?

the trek in was stunning- the sun was setting and the lake was absolutely glitter- and glowing with pre-dusk sun, each single ripple of the water being reflected and sparkling against dark silhouette of rotund islands and trees and mountainous backdrops. it got really crazy once you got a little deeper, closer to glaciar grey, and there were bright, royal blue icebergs floating in the dull grey-green lake... they looked entirely out of place, which made it all the more interesting. it looked like a poorly executed painting, the colour scheme gome completely mad. the wind was absolutely insaaaane at parts- the kind of wind where you can feel it moving your eyeballs under your lids, and if you lift one foot from its place you´re sure to topple. the last part of the trek that day was a beautiful vista of the glaciar, and jesus christ is it ENORMOUS. even larger than the famous perito moreno, it is just.. inexplicably large. and again, like perito moreno glaciar, the mound of ancient ice descended from the mountains to the lake with the whole scene looking like a still of heaven- hazy gauze atop parts, high and low lit be the sections the sun chose. so very beautiful. it was neat too because you can get really close to this one and see its jagged beauty up close, watch it deposit some more bergs every once in awhile. i got really close the next morning and was sad to see my batteries had already run out, so i only have the memory. that evening i chilled with immature but nice chileans at the campsite and attempted to understand their ridiculous version of spanish (incredibly fast and riddled with slang, it is known as the most difficult spanish of south america). and thank the lord for warm food and hot choco.

next day i was off to campamiento italiano. the mountains surrounding valle frances looked like castle-shaped white chocolate pieces that were then dipped in bittersweet on their tips. very interesting montañas. and the sky was treating me to a brilliant cloud show. contrary to the day before, when i was on fire and entirely motivated, that day i had barely a spark. i went super slow and each moment dragged by. it was also one of those days where the scenery doesn´t change as you hike because there are no corners to turn or whatever. so it was even less of a motivation to continue since i was simply getting closer to the same view i´d seen for the past four hours. i met the doctors on the bridge crossing over to the camp, but i had no idea it was there so when they told me i was absolutely elated. could have cried with joy. lovely sun set on the mountains opposite. it was super cool watching avalanche after avalanche. i had no idea they could be so common. you would hear a crack like thunder, and then a rumbling as a waterfall of powdery snow would barrel down the rocks. while i was in my tent, a girl nearby was singing bbeeaautifully in hers, opera-style. her friends then jokingly made her sing boys-II-men so my head was filled with neverending ¨i´ll make love to you, like you want me to, and i´ll hold you tight, baby all through the night¨... well, all through the night.

for reasons beyond the obvious, i love free campsites because there´s no check-out time. i therefore was able to trek up the valle frances without lugging all my stuff (because it returns to c.italiano anyway). that day was terrible weather, which made the trek pure hell. it began pouring an hour into the route and only got stronger. i almost made it to the look-out, but i came to a clearing and could barely see anything it was so cloudy, plus the rain felt like hard, fat bullets on my face, coming at what felt like perpendicular to my body. the fact that my lame rainjacket was in TWO did not help. so i turned back and headed for the next stop.

crazily, just as you left the valley there was not a drop of rain. the hike to refugio cuerno had only one highlight, the beautiful, sparkling blue lake with rocky shoreline and mountain enclosure. i arrived at the refugio and felt so gross that i was willing to pay the seven dollars for a good, hot shower. lucky for me, there was only cold water available. and the manager was an ass about it. so that made it easy for me set up my tent for free without feeling too bad about it. although i still freaked out every other second thinking that i would get caught. i met jas and chintu at the refugio, drinking ridiculously overpriced wine. they "made" me join. they also bought me the ridiculously overpriced dinner while calling me "thunder quads" (thanks for those, mom). ah, and they paid for my hostel that first night. i feel really awkward when people pay for me, so it was strange, but i adjusted! jas told me he was passing on the favour that was given to him when he was younger, so it´s now my job to pass er on later. deal. plus i reaaallly got the feeling that money didn´t mean a thing to them, so that made me feel more comfortable. we ended up getting really quite pissed in the middle of the forest and the owners wouldn´t let us buy any more. chilled on the beach under a perfectly clear night sky, talked all deep and emotional about insecurities and being with good people, then went to bed. this was the boys´ first night in an actual tent (they were staying in the, say it with me, ridiculously overpriced refugios before that, but there was no room at that refugio. very american of them, they proposed in desperation that they would pay DOUBLE the $160 cabin price... this began a running joke.. ¨i´ll pay DOUBLE!¨... but money couldn´t buy them a bed for the eve). they kept calling each other warriors for setting up the tent, they were so funny. they also told people that they were the guys on the trek who were dressed very well in expensive gear, but had no idea what they were doing. i liked how they could make fun of themselves and realize things as such. i respect the honesty.

the next morn, we all, including maurica and asifa whom we had dined with the evening prior, hiked together to the next destination. i do NOT enjoy walking in large groups. everytime one person stops, everyone has to stop. this hike was also one of those ¨scenery not changing almost the entire time¨ hikes, but it was a huuggeee bright blue lake backed with light mustard mountains, so it was pretty. i also think i saw my first condor!! (i´ve been incredibly intrigued with condors for some reason. so big, so graceful, never moving their wings, just riding the wind). the last section of the hike was a very rough ascent, then a super windy, quite frightening walk on a cliffside.

at the refugio, i saw my first gaucho (translates to something like cowboy). i fell in love with his kind right then and there. they look like old-school french guys, wearing berets and short scarves tied to the side- extremely classy. then jacket bottom-bound by a thick, intricately woven belt and puffy pants tightened from the calf down by high boots. they´re incredibly intriguing. i love them, they look so dignified and proud. and hot. sexy. i´ll stop.

the boys insisted they treat me to a dorm bed in the refugio. since i was getting up at 3am to walk to the sunrise, i decided getting a good sleep AND not having to pack a tent at 2:30am would be just wonderful, and agreed to it. i can´t believe how generous they were. we had a good chatting night- additions included the crazy old hippy who got drunk and kept talking about drugs and the two young and innocent (we´re sure they were virgins) brits who asked chintu if it were true that american girls were easy and loved british accents. i was very tempted to skip the 3am hike and instead drink excessive amounts of wine since we were having so much fun, but i´d had such a great experience with the panama volcano sunrise that i knew i had to see this one.

jas was supposed to join me on the hike, but when i tried to wake him, he told me nuh-uh. i´m not going to lie, as much as i love him, i really prefer nighttime hiking alone. it´s a very personal experience, hearing just your footsteps, seeing just your light. the walk was very simple and straightforward the first 50 minutes, and then it got rather tricky. in the daylight, i saw on the way down, the red marking dots are easily visible. in the darkest part of the night (that just before sunrise. that´s actually an inspirational quote i read in ecuador), it is nearly impossible, especially when you don´t even know you´re supposed to be looking for red dots on rocks. so, effectively, i ended up on a very steep mountainside of rocks large and small, scrambling for the top, clumsily trying to juggle my water bottle and scarf and jacket and such, tens of metres- i realized afterwards- from the real trail. not only that, but since flashlights follow other lights, i had a whole slew of folks in my wake. hey, they chose to be the followers. i hated the sliding slippery small rocks parts.

at the top, despite my best efforts, i was freeeeezing. sitting beneath a large rock, clutching my legs, head in my knees, pulling at all ends of my broken rainjacket. two very friendly chileans joined me and i felt rude as, whenever no one was speaking, i immediately buried myself in my knees again, teeth chattering, body shaking. i was convinced, twenty minutes after the supposed sunrise, that we´d all climbed up there for nothing because there was overcast and the towers stubbornly remained a dull blue-grey. then francesca, my new chilean friend, pointed at the now-visible sunrise. i rose from behind my protective rock to take a look. then i turned back to the towers (TORRES del paine- the park is essentially named after them) and like magic, the cold grey slowly but surely turned into a magnificent, bright and warm orange. it was completely unbelievable, actually. stunning. spectacular. and made every miserable moment waiting completelty worth it. that was our sacrifice. there was even a huge rainbow enompassing all the towers. couldn´t be more perfect. from the towers dripped thin waterfalls into a small lake beneath. just lovely. francesca was taking my photo and i wanted to hurry because they were about to descend, so i stumbled my way to rocks before us and slammed my good knee, the one that didn´t chip a rock less than a week prior, directly into an enormous boulder. aiaiai. the towers themselves were nothing nearly as impressive as fitz roy, but that sunrise made them unforgettable.

jas hiked the towers at a normal time while chintu and headed back to puerto natales. we had hilarious conversations on the way down. we realized that everytime there was something vulgar in a story, i would ironically increase my volume unconsciously. hoped there were no english speakers nearby. it was on this hike that the pooch (his name for my paunch- the bundle of fat i carry on my midriff) jokes began. my favourite pooch joke of all is ¨your pooch is so powerful that if it joined with seven other pooches of equal power, they could carry me across alaska in a dogsled¨. maybe you had to be there. we also made a new version of "my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard". my poochshake now brings all the boys to the yard. complete with visuals. he was just trying to make me more comfortable with my ponch. come to peace, acceeppptt the pooch. and we were in tears making up these ridiculous jokes. there was a super fancy hotel at the entrance and i wanted to look inside. chintu told me he could enter without a problem, but there´s no way they would ever accept me in there, i looked so terrible. i agreed. and the smell. oh, the smell.

back at the hostel, i got my disgusto ¨five days hiking, pre-bath¨ photo. what a sight. then onto cheap bottlá red and i witnessed chintu in full doctor action with a girl who broke her finger. i must say, i was very impressed with the complete inversion of his very character. he´s a very goofy, hilarious, ridiculous guy, and he went professional and knowledgeable and serious and mature in a split second. good stuff. makes me wonder what´s hiding beneath all these other doctors.

then off to fancy restaurant for more wine. then off to another for even more wine. it was this night i discovered my love for carmenere, alone or with cab sauv. mmmm. chilean wine is loads better than argentinian, in my opinion (or, the wine guy would say, in my age-group´s palette, possibly). finally the other three joined us and eventually we hit the karaoke bar, unfortunately sin jas.
so. much. fun. alcohol plus seven random chileans, four random tourists, and a wide selection of sing-alongs means a good time. bed-time was 6:30am.

off to punta arenas the next day. should have never gone, but that´s alright. live n learn. i was essentially only in punta arenas in order to go to ushuaia, ¨the end of the world¨. it´s debateable whether ushuaia is actually the most southern city in the world (puerto williams, across the beagle channel, is more south, but some argue it´s just a military settlement instead of a city), but whatever. i didn´t enjoy ushuaia much, so it was all just an enormous waste of a LOT of time and a LOT of money. i had to idle in punta arenas for four days waiting for my bus, doing practically nothing. i must say, though, i really did like the feel of the place, i´m not sure why. their cemetary is stunning, much prettier than the buenos aires one that everyone raves about. it has huge, groomed, cylindrical, rich green trees and layer upon layer of crosses and sentiments. also the dead people apartment boxes about ten high and many long full of the deceased, each box with a display window compartment at its front in which the family dedicates a beautiful, cute shrine to their beloved... it was touching. at the other extreme were the huge and somewhat impersonal marble homes built as graves, at times adorned with statues of the dead or floating angels. huge and excessive, but beautiful and all very interesting. the only other things to do are the zona franca and the penguin colony. vanessa, a crazy and hilarious chick that reminded me of alyssia, joined me to the duty-free zone. everything was closed so we just bought pretty and cheap underwear and she told me stories about waking up in a cemetary during mardi gras in new orleans, dressed as a caterpillar. i loved her, we had a lot of fun. the penguin colony was a little disappointing because the penguins were really far away. i still enjoyed watching the sun shine off the rippling water and cute miniature penguin silhouettes in the forground, pretty and peaceful, waddling and such.

when i finally arrived in ushuaia, i was shocked that no one told me how bland and expensive it was. everyone had told me it was very beautiful, and i wasn´t interested in an ¨end of the world¨ list tick, so i was really valuing their statements. nor did anyone mention that i would be paying prices higher than the yucatan in mexico to stay in this crap town. not impressed. so in complete defiance of all that is ushuaia, i scouted out fields and, upon finding none, put my backpack in an abandoned house with no rear wall. i bought some food and when it was dusk, i set up my tent behind the cinema. i could have been smarter and picked a spot OTHER than the ONLY building open til 1:30am.... but the grass caught my eye, what can i say? i got really paranoid in my tent thinking that i was breaking the law and when a gate opened beside my head at 3:30am i freaked out and had visions of someone shooting my poor tatty (tent´s name, remember), and thus, me. i don´t know why. but it was cushy, and best of all free, so it worked for me. no matter that i received no sleep.

so the reason i had to wait so long in punta arenas is because ushuaia was so popular that time of year and so no availability on buses. same with return buses- you have to book a few days ahead. so i figured i would find stuff to do and booked it for another four days in the future. mistake. i climbed to the ice-cube of a glaciar that sit on the mountain backing the town. not impressive in any way. after a talk with some guy about the dual-prices (argentinian vs. foreigner, the prices can be multiple times more) in argentina and the fact that i had missed both the good hitchiking time and it was too late to walk to it, i ended up missing tierra del fuego national park, half on purpose. i heard it was so-so, anyway. so really, i just did a whole lot of nothing. but i tried! i asked many people about alternate hikes, but no one knew anything. i had a beautiful campsite (after my first night at the cinema) and the bay looked pretty at night, but ushuaia, in my opinion, is nothing at all special in any way. now i know.

i had a five am bus to leave ushuaia, so i thought i would just stay up all night to save the money on the campsite. it poured the entire night so i sat, reading under a bridge. a couple passed me and i smiled and said hello and they took serious pity on me. i must say, i looked pretty homeless and pathetic. they talked to me a lot and then told me there was a shopping mall with heating and they´d drive me to it, but first they wanted to check if it was actually open. so they drove off, checked for this mall, drove back and told me it wasn´t there, offered their house, etc. until i assured them i would go to the 24-hour internet place, not to worry. they were so sweet, i couldn´t believe it. they had me smiling for tens of minutes afterwards.

the ride from ushuaia to pucon, chile took three days straight. longest run i´ve had. that makes it six border crossings i´ve had between argentina and chile alone. i had a long layover in a city with ¨the ugliest chapel in the world¨ and i made friends with some guy with whom i could search for said chapel. it could be uglier.

pucon was a touristy little town backed by the dramatic, smoking villarica volcano. my first day i spent with a bunch of israelis, only one of which spoke english (that´s VERY rare, normally they all speak english). i ended up in a jewish house eating tortillas with tomato sauce and feeling awkward about the hebrew and people asking me if i was jewish. my hostel was all israeli too. they have websites that tell which hostels are the cheapest and such, so they tend to congregate, but i´ve never had a hostel that was so hebrew. my first night, i drank a really nice bottle of wine and sat with a trumpet and guitar player on a street corner. they were good, and they played ¨my heart will go on¨ as i left. subconscious canadian dedication, i´m sure.

off to parque nacional huerquehue (took me awhile to pronounce that quickly). incredibly beautiful, i loved it. monkey puzzle trees were so neat- the bark really does look like huge, thick, interlocking puzzle pieces. the ¨leaves¨ are tough, spiky branches that make for lovely, bold photos. PLUS they´re reminiscent of the lovely wax palms of colombia in that they´re tall and lanky with a frilly top. australian dan and i continuously met up on the trail. there was a beautiful but strange waterfall that just streamed down the center of a huge, flat, slanted rock. there was one especially beautiful part that had me ogling and picture-taking for a long time- full of colours and textures and lake and mountains and trees and falls.

it was one of the better parks i have been to- really gorgeous and different and thus, interesting. dan and i agreed to meet up for a beer and a sunset, but everything that could have gone wrong to sabotage the meeting did, so that didn´t work out. i was looking forward to company, so i was slightly saddened, walking alone before the mediocre sunset. at my hostel, i got everything prepared for my 3am hike up the volcano...

only to not wake up for it! slept straight through my alarm (only the beginning of numerous not-waking-uppings) and awoke at 9am furious with myself because this was a $66 tour- the most expensive one-day tour i´ve invested in, and i effed it up. but luck was on my side, and i found out a few hours later that those who did wake up made it to the base only to turn back because the guides decided it was too windy to climb. i was deliriously happy with this news. suckers. i switched hostels that day because it seemed that the inhabitants of mine were in complete refusal of speaking any language other than hebrew. bummer.

that eve, i went with my wicked new roommates and alex to a bar to get pisco sours (very popular drink with local liquor, i think it´s disgustingly sweet). and then another bar, this time for a beer. and then another. alex had heard that the next day was supposed to be windy so we probably wouldn´t summit anyway. we were all having such a great time so we had to make a group decision: continue the drink, or stop the drink. our first plan was to drink til 3am and then find out we weren´t going and go to sleep. but i had almost missed the tour my first time, so i was the bad guy who ruined all our fun; i proposed that if it IS cancelled, then we drink from 3am til whatever hour of the day, but for now, maybe we should get some sleep so we´re not drunkenly armed and dangerous with ice axes at high altitude. they all agreed i was rational and right and so we went to bed.

and woke SUCCESSFULLY the next morn! and oh my, was it worth it. even worth the money! (that says a lot, coming from me).

we began at 4 and hiked in the dark for two hours, which was great because it was the boring part (plus i love hiking with a headlamp where you focus everything on a foot-squared area). i dooo regret choosing the mountaineering boots at the last minute (i just grabbed them because they were my size). i have never, EVER experienced boots more uncomfortable in my life. i must have been wearing them wrong because there can´t be a chance on earth that anyone would purposely purchase those beasts. they are incredibly hard, oftentimes plastic, slightly bent forward and extremely heavy, reaching 1/3 calf. the way up was hell and the way down was worse. i had tears in my eyes as each step was near-unbearable pain. the ascent, the front sliced straight into my bony shins, and on the descent the boot chose to dig into the calf. hurt like a bitch. but i must say, the experience was so cool that afterwards i almost forgot about the pain (though at the time, this was impossible).

so on with the good parts! firstly, i had chocolate. mmmm. the sun-up was absolutely lovely and magical. the mountains in the range below were layered and looked soft and surreal like a beautiful, warmly-lit oil painting. the air was ever so hazy so the sun on the volcano left a shadow in the air and no one could figure out what this strange ghostly line was. finally we figured it out. we´re idiots. the glaciar was amazing to climb; something i´ve never done before. we were all hardcore with our cramp-ons and gaiters and ice-ax and quality mountain gear. there was a flippy, wave-like section of the mountains-glaciar that i really enjoyed because it reminded me of the grinch´s mountaintop.

nearing the top, a few metres from the summit, suddenly my eyes, nose, and throat began to burn and coughing was an absolute necessity. it was the sulphur from the volcano and it was soooo suffocating and disgusting. you literally had to completely close every facial orifice, run towards it, peeking a bit for obstacles, maybe breathe a little through your gloves, then run back towards fresh air, having seen nothing but a steaming hole. so this was kindof the definition of ¨it´s all about the journey, not the destination.¨ or the denouement, since we got to slide down the glaciar on the way down, which was sooo much fun, especially as you raced past all the poor hikers that were doing the 7am trek. mwahah. we strapped very official ¨sliders¨ to our rears and, sitting in louvre-like grooves, pushed off with our ax and slid away. the last slide was the best, through a body´s-width crevas that twisted and turned like a theme park ride. what a lovely ending. (my mind is trying to block out the hour or two we had to walk after that in which i wanted to die because my legs were being murdered in those damned boots).

the shower and beer that followed were equally spectacular and i chilled til my night-bus to santiago. legs swelled and i was told i might have a DVT. fun. from there, connected to valparaiso, a bohemian artsy town i thought i would love to bits.

in valpo, i got herded to an hospedaje before i even had time to think (because if i had thought, i probably would have been on the night bus to mendoza). valpo wasn´t as much my type of place as i thought it was going to be. it had a lot of really amazing graffiti in sections, which was lovely, and there were some colourful houses that made me happy, but i think other than that, the highlight would have been the enormous, made-for-me spinach, tomate and cheese empanada. mmmm. i tried to get out of my room but she wouldn´t give a penny of it back to me, so i stayed the night and headed to mendoza, argentina the next morn. i missed my bus because i insisted on making hot chocolate that morning. luckily they let me on the next one.

and at the last border crossing to argentina, i cease. though not before adding random additions below.
love and miss you all, i´m only three countries behind, will catch up in time.
rannnn-ddoooomm:

- chilean aji is my favourite chili of my whole trip, very flavourful. only right as i was writing this i realized the play on words. chile. chili. it was meant to be.

- i always double space after a period because that is how i was (perhaps incorrectly) taught in business class in grade ten. for some reason, this blog removes it if you have more than one space. so strange.

- on this trip, it´s like looking for an answer when i don´t know the question. screaming "answer me!!" into nothingness. though guided by instinct. travelling appears to speed up time because sooo much more happens everyday than in "normal" life. i guess i was hoping the equivalent of five years of experiences squeezed into one would wisen me. i´ve thrown or been thrown situations at mega speed. it has been very good to see that just travelling (/escaping) is not the answer, since i have gone through the same highs and lows of life at home (at least after month six). it´s likely a change from within that´s necessary. or maybe it´s a balance of home and travel since life was dandy til month six. too many variables. also, i needed this trip to show that simply time doesn´t change or solve things.
i´m not saying i´m not learning shit tonnes on this trip, or that i don´t love travelling simply for the sake of travelling, but it´s not answering things the way i naively thought it might. maybe we always need a slight void in our life to keep us going, keep us searching and striving for completion. i feel sufficiently complete, and surely moments where life could be no better, but there´s the slit of unknown, always.